


In His Defense

by victoriousscarf



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-28
Updated: 2012-12-28
Packaged: 2017-11-22 18:02:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/612654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/victoriousscarf/pseuds/victoriousscarf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Being the elder, he really should have expected the assumption others were making, and going to continue to make about them.</p><p>In his defense he hadn’t started this.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In His Defense

**Author's Note:**

> Pretty much inspired by [ this post](http://tolkienafterhours.tumblr.com/post/38925715170/full-text-kili-seems-all-young-and-innocent-but).

Fili choked the first time someone looked at him with something like anger and disgust in their eyes and demanded to know how he could do this to his younger brother. It was only then he realized that would become a common question, for while they knew better than to flaunt themselves people were bound to find out. They weren’t very good at hiding either, moving too closely and almost always together.

Being the elder, he really should have expected the assumption others were making, and going to continue to make about them.

In his defense he hadn’t started this.

The elder son of Thorin’s sister, Fili was the first heir if they ever reclaimed the kingdom under the mountain. He lived with responsibility every day, braiding his hair and training, and once he had tried to pretend he wasn’t staring too long at his brother.

Fili used to convince himself duty came before anything else, following his uncle and learning smithing and warfare and any politics he could from the men and other dwarves, listening to Balin when he’d rather be sleeping.

He adored Balin. Just not always his stories and he hated to see the deep sorrow in the elder’s eyes.

Sometimes his mother would look at him with the same sort of eyes, sorrow deep within their gaze as if she knew things he could never hope to imagine and from a very young age he wished he could wipe that look out of both their eyes.

Kili never had that look.

Long ago, Fili had made a secret oath to himself that he would do anything in the world to keep Kili from every looking as sad as Balin. Even long afterwards his heart remembered it, and though he didn’t always succeed in protecting his younger brother, from himself or others, whenever he thought all was lost Kili would turn to him and smile again.

Fili had gotten used to his brother dodging his steps from a young age. Though he wasn’t that much older sometimes the span of only a few years felt like forever as his brother almost tilted over into the mines, Fili catching the back of his jerkin and tugging him back up. Or when Kili would smile at the wrong person’s daughter and they’d just about be chased out of town, Kili laughing about it before they’d even lost sight of the torches.

Their elders knew that Fili was the responsible one, though he got caught up in enough of Kili’s pranks, and created enough of his own.

Being the responsible one though, Fili had realized one day, as quickly as he breathed that he watch Kili too long and with something he shouldn’t have had in his heart. More and more he understood the desires deep inside his dwarven chest, and did not act. He buried it as deeply as he could, imagining that he locked it away as deeply in himself as the Arkenstone had once been buried in Erebor.

So it wasn’t he that started this.

One day, when they had gotten a little older again, and Fili’s braids more elaborate, Kili stormed into their chambers, deep in the Blue Mountains. He was ranting about something or other as Fili focused on sharpening one of his many knives. It was about some merchant, or idiot dwarf or love sick and forlorn companion, Fili hadn’t really been paying attention when suddenly his brother stopped talking.

Pausing, he looked up, arching a blond brow. “Were you finished? I thought I might let you get it all out of your system.”

Kili huffed, dark eyes watching him and Fili decided it was best to set down the knife, crossing his arms and leaning back instead. “You weren’t listening.”

“Sorry,” Fili said easily and Kili huffed again. Watching his brother, Fili felt the slow curl of desire again and pushed it down. “You can try again if you like.”

“So you wouldn’t listen to me again?”

“I’m listening now,” Fili pointed out and Kili shook his head, plopping down on Fili’s bed instead of his and the elder tried not to glare at him.

Leaning back on his hands, Kili watched him. “Have you noticed how stubborn and moronic people are?”

“Is this a revelation?” Fili asked, honestly curious because yes, he had noticed.

“It is when it’s you,” Kili said and Fili choked on thin air before Kili was moving again, springing from the bed and dragging him up by his shirtfront. He slammed their mouths together when Fili was still trying to find his balance and it felt like coming home, like walking into a mine filled with gold and everything precious in the world, like sunlight and darkness.

“Have you—are you—?” Fili attempted and was cut short by another kiss, deeper even this time as Kili’s hands went from his shirt front down to his waist, holding him there and pulling him closer. “When did this happen?” Fili finally managed to choke out and Kili smiled even as he whirled them and pushed his older brother toward the bed.

Smile turning into a smirk, Kili pressed their mouths together, gently and slowly as Fili tilted his head up into it, for once not resenting that his younger brother may be just taller than him. “Ages ago,” Kili murmured, hands tracing Fili’s hips and the blond swallowed, arching his neck slightly. “I thought you noticed.”

“I was trying too hard not to,” Fili managed and this time he leaned into the kiss, one hand tangling in Kili’s dark, forever unbraided hair.

“But you—” Kili started to ask.

“Of course,” Fili returned. “You would ask the question?”

Fili had never made the first move.

In fact, heir or not, elder or not, responsible one or not, it was Kili that had pressed him down onto the bed, Fili no longer even sure which bed it was, his brother moving bright above him, nipping at the side of his neck and pushing them together. Fili did not want to consider if his brother learned this, or if it grew between them.

In later nights he would often allow himself to be dominated, giving up responsibility and duty to his brother’s hands. Some nights he would burst into their chambers and shove Kili against the wall, bearing his weight down upon his slender brother and on those nights Kili would allow him to take him, throwing his throat back for Fili to bite and suck bruises onto. But most nights Fili would fall on his back willingly, giving anything Kili asked of him.

Fili wanted to laugh when people accused him of corrupting his brother, because in every way it was the opposite, as he would never have imagined even in his darkest dreams of desire some of the things Kili did to him when they were alone.

But honestly he didn’t mind. Around others Kili was still the younger brother, the wild one with unbraided hair who ran through the tunnels of the mountain with a bow and arrow, laughter bright and still seeming innocent. The Kili that Fili saw, moonlight in his hair and possession in his eyes was his alone and in his dwarf heart he hoarded that treasure.

He’d take any dark look or murmured rumor because they didn’t know.

That was his.

He was still the heir, he still followed his uncle and learned and listened to Balin’s stories and watched his mother and hoped and dreamed of the day that their kingdom would be restored to them. His brother still followed him, hopeless and tricking everyone that he felt a mind to. When the door closed he would relinquish his worries and burdens and Kili would carry them for a while.

Because no one really had to know. 


End file.
